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How do you forgive even when it's difficult?

 September 1, 2019 

By Wanda Pratnicka 


“True forgiveness is when you can say, “Thank you for that experience.” ― Oprah Winfrey 


This post is written for those of you who are bothered by the question: how do I forgive even when it feels impossible and what forgiveness has to do with the spirit removal process?

As I discuss in my books, nobody can forgive anyone for anything if they still carry anger, hatred or other negative emotions. Therefore, before you start the forgiveness process, you must first express the anger you have been carrying on for years. I do not mean only anger towards other people, but also the anger you feel toward yourself.

Once you start expressing your anger, it may turn out that it is not a small, meaningless grievance, but it is a great amount of bitterness, anger, hatred, resentment or reluctance that you have never before realized.

Most of the people who come to me for help with their problems struggle greatly with forgiveness. Of course, there are different kinds of problems but everyone shares one common feature. Not only does this commonality not allow them to function normally, but it can also make them susceptible to spirit attachment, illnesses or other sorts of problems. People carry a great amount of anger, blame, rage and hatred towards other people but most of them do not realize that they have a great amount of anger or self-pity towards themselves, too.

These kind of people prefer to get angry with others in order to be in the role of a victim. They do not want to take responsibility for their lives. If they did, they would not be able to feel sorry for themselves and derive pity from other people.

Almost everything that happens in our lives is attracted to us by our own false beliefs or actions. Sometimes these beliefs come from our parents and they inherited them from their parents and so on.

Therefore, our false beliefs are responsible for our unsuccessful life, not other people. Your life is the reflection of your thoughts and these thoughts originate from your beliefs. What you give to the world in the form of thoughts you get back but in the form of events.

The world is our mirror so that we can look at it and recognize our weaknesses. We attract people who show us our beliefs and as part of the rematch, we show them their beliefs. In our lives, nothing happens by accident. If you are involved in an accident always both sides are responsible for it. It does not matter what kind of event and how many people participated in it.

Consequently, we are responsible equally to those whom we have sorrow, rage or grievances with. You hold on to your anger but you prefer not to be aware of it because at the same time you would have to take responsibility for your life and you would not be able to pin the blame on others.

If you are angry at something, then you need to know that underneath that anger fear is hidden, fear that on some level you do not want to realize. If you would realize it then you would stop being afraid of it and in effect, you would stop being angry or even frustrated. However, you are afraid to look into your fear and you prefer to get angry and you want to deny fear at all cost to feel better. You just gain a moment where you can breathe but you do not realize that by keeping the fear you attract it to yourself like a magnet, exactly the event you are afraid of.  You need to experience the event because you attracted it by your fear. For this reason, you feel guilty and with a sense of guilt, you attract to yourself various misfortunes because guilt always requires a punishment. In that way, you fall into a vicious circle.

Usually, a person does not want to be aware that the unfortunate events that happen to him or her are a response to his or her fears or the need to punish one's self. In order to get out of this vicious circle, you have to express your anger and forgive yourself and others.


How do you do it?

Before you start the process of expressing anger and forgiveness you must schedule a sufficiently long period of time for yourself in which nobody will disturb you. First of all, you have to turn off the phone and notify people you live with that you want to be alone this evening. This time must be only for you. Nobody can disturb you.

Have a lot of paper on hand, something to drink, something to chew on, use the toilet. The point is that during the process of expressing anger and forgiveness you will not stop for a minute to focus on anything else.  If you stop one time, you will get out of the rhythm and it will be much harder for you to return to the interrupted activity than it was the first time you sat down to do so.

Maybe you will start doing it cursorily just to be done with it as soon as possible or give up expressing your anger and forgiveness because you will tell yourself that in the meantime something else took your time. It is far better to avoid such situations by having everything in place so that you can completely surrender to the process of expressing anger and following up with forgiveness.


When you are ready, start with expressing anger on a piece of paper:

I[insert your name], am mad at you [here you write the person name who you are angry at]. For example, I would write something like this: “ I, Wanda, am mad at you John for this and that, when you did this to me or you did not do the thing you promised me to do earlier.” It is not about describing the whole situation that happened then, but only what made you angry, hurt, or offended then and stating what or who you are angry at.

Remember do not destroy any of the pieces of paper because they are going to be still useful to you.

As soon as you get through the grudge then you can move on to the next step with another piece of paper and another until you deal with all of the people you are even a little angry with.

When you finish expressing your anger at the people, then you will have to express the anger you have towards yourself.

It looks something like this: "I Wanda, am mad at you Wanda that you did not stand up for yourself when that person did this to you. I Wanda, I am furious that I was used, hurt, deceived or humiliated.” Write everything that you blame yourself for. Do not be afraid or embarrassed.

The expressing anger process is only done when we are relieved … until we feel inside that we are completely empty, that we do not have any anger left.

If you still feel angry after writing all your anger out, then you have to repeat this process again and again until you relieve yourself of it. I find that most people have to repeat this process multiple times.


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Now, we are moving on to the forgiveness process:

We treat the previous pieces of paper as hints. We take the first one and we read that we are angry, for example at Carol. For example, we write: “I, Wanda, forgive you Carol for doing this to me. I forgive you completely. You are free and I am free. Or you can write something like: “I, Wanda, forgive you, Mary, that you promised me that you would do such and such but you did not do it. I was very sad then” or “you were so mean.” Describe all the events that hurt you, offended you and harmed you.

When you feel that forgiveness has been done completely, then you move on to the next person, who you wrote about earlier on a piece of paper. When you're done with one person then you move on to the next one then another until you forgive everyone everything and there are be no longer anger, grudges, hurt, etc. left in you.

After forgiving others you need to start the process to forgive yourself. For example: "I, Wanda, forgive myself that I let myself be deceived, harmed, hurt and that I did not stand up or defend myself then.”

When you approach this process with honesty, I personally guarantee you that everything in your life will change for the better. From now on you will take control over your life, you will stop being a victim of the past events and you will take your destiny in your own hands, instead of handing it to other people.


How do I know for sure if I have forgiven?

When you think about any of the people who previously angered or hurt you, and you do not feel the sting of negative energy inside you as it used to be, then you have earned success. Furthermore, it will not hurt you or anger you if the person may be better off than you.

If you think of any the people and you still feel anger, resentment, hatred, or hostility or you still feel hurt or deceived then you will have to start the whole process of forgiveness over from the beginning.

Just know that each time you do this process, you will have fewer reasons to express anger and forgive than the first time. If you were honest with the forgiveness process before then many of the things that you wrote earlier have been healed and forgotten. What will still remain are the things that you have not forgiven people for and things that still make you upset. Repeat this step until you are completely free. How many times? I will use the words of Jesus. When he was asked if it is enough to forgive seven times he replied that if he had to work on forgiveness he would not look at it as if he had to do it 7 times or 77 times but he would do it as long as it would take to forgive.